Wonke umkhulumeli ophakathi kwabantu uzivele uziva le mix ye-jittery ye-enthusiasm kunye ne-anxiety. Kodwa yintoni ukuba ndithi ukuba ukuthanda le mva yokungabikho kungaba yinxalenye yakho eyimfihlo?
Ukugxila kwiNgxaki: Amandla eVulnerabilidade kwiNtlonipho
Bona oku: Umele umva kwesikhumbuzo, intliziyo yakho ikhwankqisa, izandla zakho zishushu, kwaye ingqondo yakho ijolise kwiimeko eziyi-100. I-spotlight ikusele ukuba ikufumane, kwaye kwimizuzu emincinci, umgca ungene. Uva le nto? Awukodwa. Wonke umteto weendaba uphumelele ukuzwa lo mgangatho uphumezayo ongemva kokuthandwa. Kodwa ukuba ndiyathethela umntwana, ukugxila kule vulnerabilidade kungaba yixhobo yakho efihliweyo?
UBrené Brown, uprofesa ocwangcisiweyo kunye nomlobi odumileyo, utshintshile indlela esiyiqonda ngayo i-vulnerability. Iingqiqo zakhe zingaphezulu kokukhula komntu; ziza necebo lokuthetha elinamandla. Masingene kwiimfihlo ezinesibindi zikaBrené kwaye siphonononge indlela yokusebenzisa i-vulnerability yokuphakamisa umphosa wakho.
Ukuqonda iVulnerabilidade: Ngaphezu kokuziva Uvuleleka
Kwiimeko zayo, i-vulnerability ikho ngokubonisa nokubona, nokuba akukho iziqinisekiso. UBrené Brown uchaza i-vulnerability njengokungaqondakali, umngcipheko, kunye nokuvulekile ngokwemicimbi. Ayisiyiyo ikhangela ezingenakucaciswa okanye ukuba nzima; ikho ngexesha lokuba nesibindi sokuba ngokoqobo.
Kwiintetho zomphakathi, i-vulnerability ithetha ukwabelana ngezindaba ezingentla, ukwamkela iimeko ezingaqondakali, kunye nokuxhumana kwinqanaba labantu. Kukho ubungqina obungunaphakade obutshintsha intetho eqhelekileyo ibe yinto ebhiyozelweyo.
Uxhumano phakathi kweVulnerabilidade kunye neZobungqina
I-authenticity yisiseko sokuthetha kahle komphakathi. Xa ungowomntu, uthetha kumphosa ukusuka kwindawo yeentloko, kwaye umphosa wakho ungayiqonda le mfozamo. UBrené Brown ugxininisa ukuba i-authenticity iletha ukwethenjelwa, eyona ngxaki ibalulekileyo kwiingxoxo phakathi komteto nomphosa.
Cinga ngentetho apho umteto wabelana ngesiphene somntu okanye umzuzu wokungaboni. Endaweni yokuziveleka, baqinisekisa umjelo kunye nomphosa ngokukhupha umphosa wezenzo. Le mfozamo idala uxhumano olujulileyo, ngokwenza umyalezo ube neengxaki ngakumbi.
Ukuguqula uBuhlungu bube Yimibu
Uphando lokuhlawula, ukungaphumeleli, okanye ukwenziwa ukungamkeli kuqinisekiswa kubameli bakhumbuza umteto. UBrené Brown uphakamisa ukuba endaweni yokuyikhubazela ubuganga, kufuneka sikhe i-vulnerability. Le miphumo iguqula ubuhlungu lisuka kumgca iye kukukhuthaza.
Nantsi indlela yokukhokela le buhlungu ibe yimibu:
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Qonda iiFears Zakho: Qonda ukuba yintoni oyoyikisayo. Ngaba kukukho ukuchitha izikhumbuzo zakho? Ukukhangela ingxaki? Ukubiza ii-fears zakho kuzenzela.
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Reframe i-Anxiety ibe Yintlanganiso: Kwiimeko, ubuhlungu kunye ne-emotion zabelana ngesikhumbuzo esifanayo. Tsala kumva kukuthi ukhululeka endaweni yokuba ukhalipho. Lelo liphuphu elilula lokutshintsha ingqondo yakho.
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Sebenzisa iVulnerabilidade ukuphazama Iziphumo Zakho: Nceda uvumele lo mbandela uze ukwandisa umphosa wakho endaweni yokumisa. Uxhalaba olunye lungandong zizweli nezifanelekileyo kumphosa wakho.
Ukubaluleka kweZibhalo eziXhaphakileyo
Ubugcisa bezindaba buqokoza kakhulu kwiintetho zomphakathi, kwaye i-vulnerability ikhangela ukuhaliseka kwayo. Umsebenzi kaBrené Brown ugxininisa ukuba iindaba zomphakathi aziqinisekisa kuphela; ziguqula.
Xa uxelela indaba eyiveza ubuhlungu ngempela, umjelo ufinyelela kwiimilo zabantu. Le mfozamo yabelana ngokuphila idala umphefumlo kunye noxhumano. Nantsi indlela yokufaka iindaba ezinjalo:
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Qala ngeMilo yoMntu: Khetha umgca obaluleke ngokuphathekayo. Ingaba ikhona impumelelo, ukungaphumeleli, okanye umphosa ophumelele.
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KHwakha uMphosa weMoya: Ungazanga izinto; tapi lezo zinto owaziyo. Lokhu kukhubaza nobungqina bokuzi.
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Qhubeka neKhalenda: Luthanda ukuba ukhangela njani? Uthatha izinto ukuphucula? Ukunika uluhlu luthatha umoya kumphosa wakho.
Ngokukhetha, ndithe ndaye ndalila indlela ye-stand-up. Endaweni yokufihla ukungaphumeleli, ndabelana ngayo kumphosa wam. Umphosa uhambe intlonipho opheleleyo, uchele umoya endaweni yokuya. Ukuxhasa le mfundo akuzange kuqinise umjelo wam nomphosa; kuqinisekisa ukuba iihambo zingamathuba.
Ukwakha amandla ngethuba leVulnerabilidade
UBrené Brown ufundisa ukuba i-vulnerability yeza nemvisiswano zayo. Kwiintetho zomphakathi, i-resilience iyikhono lakho lokugxila kwiimeko zeengxaki, nokuba inokuba yimpumelelo okanye umphosa omangalisayo.
Nantsi indlela i-vulnerability iguqula i-resilience:
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Ukuphila NgeZinto ezingafunekiyo: Vuma ukuba ukufazelelwa kuyinto. Xa ungowomntu, uzokwazi ukuhlangula nokufunda nje koxolo hayi ukuyifihla okanye ukuba nceda ibhinqa.
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Ukufuna Imibono: Abateto beziqongqala bayavuma kumikhiqizo, befuna le mbono kwindawo yokuphucula.
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Ukwakha iMindset yokukhula: Ngoku njengesikhumbuzo ekhayeni kuzenza iimeko ngokuqwalasela kube iimeko zesikhumbuzo.
Ngezokugxila i-vulnerability, ukhulisa umoya uyizo eziphambili, eyiphi ixhoma kwiintetho zomphakathi ezixabisa.
Iindlela eziMiselwe zokukhuthaza iVulnerabilidade kwiNgxoxo Zakho
Ukulungele ukufaka izibizo zomphakathi ze-vulnerability? Nantsi iindlela zokuhlala uqale:
1. Qala ngethuba leF kudu
Qonda i-vulnerability zakho. Phendula kumfutho wakho, amandla, kunye nento eyiphukileyo kumteto. Le mfozamo yisiseko sokuthatha ingubo.
2. Rhoqisa iMila eMatsamini
Hlanganisa amathuba osobala aqwalasela umphosa wakho noyouth. Ukuxelela oku kumphosa akusoze kube yindawo ehlanganisiweyo.
3. Yiba neNtshayelelo ngeMilo yako
Uza kuxelashe imiba yakho nobuhlungu. Ukungabi nakho kuhluka kobu msebenzi kwenza ubelo lwakho lube neento ezilungayo.
4. Sebenzisa uToda ukunceda uJolise
Umdlaliso ulungile ukuvusa umoya kwaye kubumba ubudlelwane. Ukubona umphosa omhle neinvulnerable unokukunceda uxorile.
5. Qhubekisa uMthandazo
Nxibala kumphosa wokuwela kunye nezindleko zabo. Le ngxoxo ikhulisa umoya noxhumano.
6. Zama ukungakhumbuli
Nika imibono yokudlula kuxela kumphosa odlalayo. Oku kuyicevhu kumphosa ukuze baziyeke.
7. Nqonchwa iLinganisa yokukhula
Ngokubona iinzame ezinhle echayile, thatha ixesha lokukhuluma kumphosa wakho kulungile kubalaphana.
Ukunyanzela Ubugxila beVulnerability
Nangona ibonakalisa izibudala, abaninzi abakhatshwa ukuveza i-vulnerability ngenxa yezithuba eziphezulu ezikhelekileyo. UBrené Brown utyhila lo mqondo, ekhaliphisa ingqambani yokuncedisa ubungqina kuneemfuno.
Ukukhutshwa koqhelwano:
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Hamba ngokwenza Ixa: Qonda ukuba iinguqu eyenile umphosa iya ngempumelelo langere kumgoniselo. Ukuyidalela umoya ubonisa amandla.
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Mkhuqe IImaHwalwa: Nciphisa imibutho efuna ukunciphisa i-vulnerability. Ziyelamla kuwe isikhathi esingasengqi kumphosa.
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Khumbula Umaziko ngaphezulu: Njengomphosa, yinyani ougxilisa yi-vulnerability kumphosa wakho. I-matrem ngako yenza abanye babe ne-vulnerability.
Iingxaki zeMihla yeMihla
Masijonge indlela yokufuna ukugxila kuhamba i-vulnerability kumphosa:
Uhambo lweBrené Brown
Ukukhumbula, intetho kaBrené Brown kwibala leTEDx uze uyindla ngembombo ezimangalisayo. Umoya wakhe uthetha umyalezo omncinci kukhonza kumagama aphi umphosa owakhethayo, okufaka iinguqu zeendlela zendawo.
U-Olivia Winfrey
U-Olivia Winfrey ungumaphosa ophucukileyo ésapho lokubhalela indaba yentlupheko. Ngoku, ukuxela ngeemfunoZENEBE nokuqwenela, u-Olivia ukhaliphe, udayise umphosa wakhe.
Umphosa weStand-Up
Kwistand-up, i-vulnerability iyazwenza i-jokes. Abatyholi ababelana ngento ezibuhlungu nabayenza kufuneka bahlale bavunyelwe kumphosa, utyhilwe ubude.
Umphakathi Omhle Umama weVulnerabilidade
Xa udlala i-vulnerability kumphosa wakho, umphumo ungaphuma concept irraa umphosa wakho. Nantsi indlela:
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Ukhuthaza Abanye: Ukukhalipha kwakho kungavuka abanye ngokwabelana i-vulnerability, nokuthwaza umphosa ophilayo.
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Uphucula Ulwazi: Ukubamba iindaba ezinjalo kudala umphosa wokuthungela.
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Ukukhulisa Umphosa: Abateto abavuka bahlala ukwenza umphosa onomoya wokuzilungisa.
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Uqhamisa Ubulungisayo: Ubuyiselwe i-vulnerability ayingenelela iimpumelelo zakho kunye nobungqina.
Iingcinga zokuPhezu: Phinda i-Vulnerabilidade
Iintetho zomphakathi yinto ecinga ngexhumano. Iingqiqo zikaBrené Brown zee-vulnerability ziquka indlela yokubhalisela ukuphucula uthuli lwakho. Ngokukhetha umthandazo wakho, ubala izinto eziqinileyo, kwaye ugubungela omtapu wakho, ungakhulisa umphosa oxhamlayo, onomngeni, ophumelele kumphosa wakho.
Khumbula, umphosa ongako uphumelelanga ukugcina umphosa kumphosa, sinusibindi sokuqwalasela ezingandizani. Kungakho umphosa wakho uvusa umphosa wakho; umphosa wakho ulungile.
