Wonke umkhulumeli womphakathi uzwe le ngxube yokukhathazeka nokujabula. Kodwa yini uma ngithi ukukwamukela lokhu kungabi nezinselelo kungaba yinsiza yakho eysecret?
Ukwamukela Ukungajabuli: Amandla Obuqhopholo Esikhathini
Cabangani lokhu: Ulele emuva, inhliziyo ibhampa, izandla zishisa, futhi umqondo wakho uhambe ngama-what-ifs ayizinkulungwane. Ibhakabhaka likamoya lizosithola, futhi ngaleso sikhathi esifushane, ukungabaza kuphume. Kuyaziwa? Awodwa. Noma ubani okhuluma emphakathini uzohlale ezwa leli hlobo lokungakhululeki. Kodwa kube njani uma ngithi ukuwusebenzisa le buqhopholo kungaba yinsakavukela yakho?
Brené Brown, uprofesa wocwaningo kanye nombhali odumile, ushintshe indlela esiqonda ngayo ubuhlungu. Ukuqonda kwakhe kudlula ekukhuleni komuntu uqobo; kusebenza njengempondo yokukhuluma emphakathini okulandelayo. Ake siginqike ezimfihlakalweni eziningi, futhi sithole ukuthi ukuhlanganisa ubuhlungu kungathuthukisa umdlalo wakho wokukhuluma.
Ukuqonda Ubuqhopholo: Ngaphezu Kokuqabula
Ngokuyinhloko, ubuqhopholo busezingeni lokubonisana nokubona, nakuba kungathiwa kukhona iziqinisekiso. UBrené Brown uchaza ubuqhopholo njengokungaqiniseki, ingozi, nokufakwa kwemizwa. Akukhona ukuphakela kakhulu noma ukuba neqhaza; kukhona ub勇 ous ukuhlangabezana nalokho.
Ekukhulumeni emphakathini, ubuqhopholo buhunyushwa njengokwabelana ngezindaba eziyiqiniso, ukuvuma ukungaqiniseki, nokuxhumana ngezinga lomuntu. Kungukukhuluma okuphawulekayo okuguqula ukukhuluma okungajwayelekile kube isipiliyoni esikhumbulekayo.
Uxhumano Phakathi KweBhuqhopholo Nezinto Eziyiqiniso
Izinto eziyiqiniso ziwumgogodla wokukhuluma ophumelelayo emphakathini. Uma ungumuntu oyiqiniso, ukhuluma endaweni yeqiniso, futhi ababukeli bakho bangazizwa le mizwa. UBrnén Brown ugcizelela ukuthi ubuqhopholo budala ukwethenjwa, ingxenye ebalulekile kunoma yisiphi isixhumanisi sikhuluma-sithokozisa.
Cabanga ukukhuluma lapho umkhulumeli wabelana ngephutha lakhe siqu noma isikhalazo. Esikhundleni sokuzihlukanisa, bakha isixhumanisi nohlanga ngokuvula uhlobo lwabo lomuntu. Le ndawo evulekile ikhuthaza uxhumano olujulile, okwenza umyalezo ube nolwazi nolwaziyo.
Ukuguqula Ukwesaba Ube Ugesi
Ukwesaba ukumangalwa, ukwehluleka, noma ukuhoxiswa kuvame ukuhlinzeka abakhulumeli. UBrené Brown uthembisa ukuthi esikhundleni sokugwema ukwesaba, kufanele sithi sibe sezulu. Le shintsho emibonweni iguqula ukwesaba kube umqondo ophakeme.
Nazi izindlela zokuguqula lokho kuqinisa ugesi:
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Qaphela Ukuthakazelelwa Kwakho: Qonda okukhathazayo. Ingabe kuyiwi ukukhohlwa imigqa yakho? Ukuhunyushwa? Ukukhuluma ngezinto zakho kuzokwenza kube kubonakale.
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Phinda Ukuthakazelelwa Ngokujabula: Ngokomzimba, ukuthakazelelwa nokujabula kunezindlela ezifanayo. Zizwe ujabule esikhundleni sokuphoxeka. Lokhu kusebenza kuphela okwenza kube nebanga lakho.
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Sebenzisa Ubuqhopholo Ukukhuthaza Ukusebenza Kwakho: Yamukela umoya ophilayo. Vumela ukuthi ibaluleke ekusebenzeni kwakho kunokulokhu. Ukuhlupheka okuncane kungase kube nomoya nokuqina ekudlaleni kwakho.
Ukwenza Izindaba Eziyiqiniso
Ukwabelana ngezindaba kuyithuluzi elikahle ekukhulumeni emphakathini, futhi ubuqhopholo buumsollekile bayo. Umsebenzi kaBrené Brown ugcizelela ukuthi izindaba zodwa azihambisani; ziguqula.
Lapho wabelana ngendaba ekhombisa okuthile okukhonjiswayo ngawe, ubiza ababukeli bakho ukuba bakubone njengomuntu ophilayo. Le ndawo yesibambiso igqugquzela umoya kanye nexhumano. Nazi izindlela zokwakha lezi zindaba:
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Qala Ngolwazi Olwakho: Khetha isikhathi esibe nomthelela omkhulu kuwe. Kungaba yiphupho, ukwehluleka, noma isipiliyoni sokufunda.
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Gxila Ohambweni Lwemizwa: Ungavumeli ngalokho; hamba phezulu emizweni obehamba nayo. Lokhu kukhombisa ubunzima nobuhlobo.
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Phothula Ngalesi sisho: Yini ofundile? Lokhu kuhlakanipha kuluveza umbono wakho? Ukunikeza umphumela kunika indaba yakho inhloso.
Ngokwesibonelo, ngake ngachitha isethi yami yokudlala. Esikhundleni sokufihla lempumelelo, ngabelane ngayo nababukeli bami. Impendulo yayixhaswe kakhulu, iyishintsha impumelelo engiyibhalile ibe isipiliyoni sokubambisana. Ukumukela le buqhopholo akugcinanga ngokwandisa ukuhlangana kwami nezithameli kodwa futhi kwangisiza ukwazi ukuthi ukuphazamiseka kulungile.
Ukwakha Ukumelana Ngobuhlungu
UBrené Brown ufundisa ukuthi ubuqhopholo bulwa ukumelana. Ekukhulumeni emphakathini, ukumelana kuyikghono lakho lokubuyela ezinhlelweni, noma kungaba ukuliphosa ukufaneleka noma isithameli esingakujabulisi.
Nazi izindlela ubuqhopholo buxhasa ukumelana:
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Ukukwazi Ukungaqinisekisi Ukuziphatha: Yamukela ukuthi amaphutha azokwenzeka. Uma unguqhopholo, kuthiwa ulula futhi ufunde kuzo kunokufihla noma ukujola.
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Funa Impendulo: Abakhulumeli abanesibindi bavuma impendulo, bebona njengezikhathi zokukhula kunokuhlasela komuntu.
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Phakisa Iziqalo Eziqhakazile: Ukubheka izinselelo njengamathuba okuhleleka kugcina uwusizo nolwakha ezikhathini ezinzima.
Ngokuwamukela ubuqhopholo, uthola umbono ophendulayo futhi oqinile, izimpawu ezibalulekile kubakhulumeli abachwepheshe.
Iziqhamo Zokugcina Ukuze Ukwamukele Ubuqhopholo Ezikhaleni Zakho
Uyaluphekela ukufaka ukukhuluma kwakho emphakathini ngamandla okuguqula ubuqhopholo? Nazi izinyathelo ezithile zokukusiza uqale:
1. Qala Ngokuzazi
Qonda ubuqhopholo bakho. Bheka ezikhaleni zakho, amandla, nokuthi yini ekwenza uhluke njengomkhulumeli. Le ukuzazi kujolise ekwakhiweni kokukhuluma okuyiqiniso.
2. Uxhumane Ngemibono Yakho
Hlanganisa izindaba ezikhaleni eziqaphelayo. Lokhu akukhuthazi ababukeli bakho kuphela, kodwa futhi kwenza umyalezo wakho ube nolwazi.
3. Hamba Phambili Ngempilo Yakho
Ungesabi ukukhuluma ngezimvo zakho kanye nezinsiza. Iqiniso ngempilo yakho yenza indaba yakho ibe nomsindo.
4. Sebenzisa Uhlanga Ukudambisa Umphefumulo
Uhlanga luyithuluzi elikhulu lokunciphisa ukuncintisana nokwakha uxhumano. Ukwabelana ngomoya ophilayo, ungathokozisa abhulughwa.
5. Yiba Nesizotika Sokuqonda
Bheka izithameli zakho ngokwakha ukuxhumana nohlanga lwenkosi, ngokulalela iziphenduli zabo kanye nokuhlelwa kwabezindaba. Lezi zimo zithuthukisa umqondo wexhumu.
6. Yamukela Ukuthula
Vumela izincazelo zokuthula ngemva kokwabelana ngendaba ethile noma ukwenza isitatimende esiyodwa. Lokhu kunikeza umphakathi isikhathi sokucabanga, okujula kusebenzelana kwabo.
7. Qhubeka Uhola Kukwchok Basic
Ngemva kwesigaba sokukhuluma, thatha isikhathi sokuhlola ukuthi kwenzekeni,” kuthiwani ngokwehla nokuphakela. Ukumukela ubuqhopholo kusho ukuba avulelekile emkhakheni obalulekile.
Ukuqala Uhlanga LweBhuqhopholo
Naphezu kwezinsizakalo zayo, abakhulumeli abaningi bahlaba uvalo ukuze babonise ubuhlungu ngenxa yomkhankaso wokuphakela njengoba kwabhala ubuhlungu kanye nezwe. UBrené Brown uhola le miphakathi, kwenza umphakathi ovuma ubuqhopholo njengendaba ye zamazwi.
Ukusebenza phakathi kobuhlungu:
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Ukubhalela Iphutha: Qonda ukuthi ubukhosi empilweni bukhona ukuba nobuhlungu. Ukubamba ubuhlungu nokungaqiniseki kudinga amandla amakhulu kunokuhlala ufi.
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Yakha Izindawo Ezivikelekile: Khuthaza ezinye zokuhlala lapho ubuqhopholo bulawulwa futhi kuhlonishwa. Lokhu kusebenza hayi kuphela kumphakathi ophakathi komphakathi, kodwa nakuwena.
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Phinda Ujule: Njengomkhulumeli, ukukwenza kukhulume ngokuphelele usebenzeka. Ukuphila kwakho kungakhuthaza abanye ukuba bakhumbule ubuqhopholo babo.
Izibonelo Zokuphumelela
Ake sibheke ukuthi ukuwusebenzisa ubuqhopholo kwashintsha kanjani ukukhuluma kwempilo:
Uhambo Lwakhe UBrnén Brown
Umlando waBrené Brown we-TEDx mayelana nobuhlungu ubeze ufanekisela izigidi zokuqhubeka. Ukukhuluma kwakhe okuhlanzekile ngamandla obuqhopholo kukhulule imizwakazi eyakhayo. Ngokukhalipha ngezinto zakhe namazwi, wakha umphakathi odinga ubuqhopholo nocwaningo.
Ukukhuluma okuphathelene no-Oprah Winfrey
U-Oprah Winfrey ungumkhankaso ophumelelayo wokushumayela. Ukukhuluma naye ngalokhu katika, ukuqhubekela phambili kokukhuluma ukuxhumeka nababukeli, ukwenze umyalezo wakho ube nomthelela.
Ukudlala Isikhangiso Ngamathuba
Ekuhlaleni kwekhambo, ubuqhopholo kuhle kwaba yindlela yokusebenza kahle. Abameleli ababelana ngezindaba nabo nabo bangahamba kakhulu neqhaza lababukeli.
Umphumela WeRiphu Wokukhuluma
Lapho uthola ubuqhopholo ekukhulumeni kwakho, umphumela udlula ukuchaza. Nazi izindlela:
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Ukukhuthaza Abanye: Iqiniso lakho lingakhuthaza abanye ukuba baphume ngaphesheya kwabo.
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Ukudala Umphakathi: Ukuxhumana okuqeni kuthembisa ukuvuma nokuxhaphaza phakathi kwesicelo.
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Ukukhuthaza Umthelela: Abakhulumeli abaneziqiniso bahrugula umbono ophakeme, njengoba imiyalezo yabo ibekiwe emhlabeni.
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Ukukhuluma Komuntu: Ukusebenzisana okujabulayo kungakhuthaza ukukhuluma okuphumelelayo.
Iziphetho Zokugcina: Phila Ubuqhopholo
Ukuhlalelisela yimfundi ekugcineni izokhulisa ukuxhumana. Imibono kaBrené Brown ngezi buqhopholo ifaka indlela yokuthuthukisa izikhala zakho. Ngokukholwa ukuthi uyiqiniso, ukwabelana ngamasiko amangalisa, nokuhlangabezana nezicubu zakho, ungenza ukukhuluma okuhlanganayo okubhalayo.
Khumbula, ukukhuluma okukhulu kudinga uvalo. Uthando lwakho lokuba nesibindi kuzokwenza ube nethuba ukushicilela, kunika umphumela embala ku-inhliziyo. Ngakho, ngesikhathi esilandelayo uvele ubuhlungu, kumele ube nesibindi. Ababukeli bakho balungile लकण वे चालू.
